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Dry Heat

One Night in Vegas Makes a Hard Man Humble

A three-day Vegas vacation is about all a human can handle, emotionally and physically. Even if you're not partaking of the delightful fruits of Sin City (boozing, dancing and buffet gorging), sightseeing and shopping can also take a toll on human endurance.

For those folks that don't even have three days, I recommend the one-day Vegas Super-Massive Party plan. It's grueling, but for the attention deficit crowd, it's a great way to experience the best of Vegas in less than 24 hours.

Vegas Super-Massive Party Plan
First of all, I'm not a licensed medical professional, but you'll want to get plenty of rest the night before and hydrate the whole way through. The plan has ample time for relaxation, but remember, moderation is your friend.

You'll want to start with a midday flight to Vegas arriving around noon and a return flight leaving around 7-8AM so you can arrive at the airport around 6AM. Pack light if even at all and grab toiletries as needed.

And as a savings benefit, if you don't need a hotel room, you don't have to get one. The plan calls for a place to shower, but if you think you need a disco nap, a place to call home or your plans derail, you should get a room.

Before you leave your house, arrange for a car service to pick you up at the airport or you could spend a precious hour, literally, at the cab stand and time is of the essence.



Noon -2PM
Mandalay Bay
If you didn't fill up on airline nuts and complimentary beverages, you're going to want to eat. Mandalay Bay is the closest, biggest resort to the airport so start there for lunch and work your way up The Strip.

Grab lunch at the Burger Bar for a nice slab of beef. You can try the $75 burger, but one of the $15 burgers will do just fine. When you're done eating, contemplate the meaning of life at the tranquil environs of the Shark Reef. Practice positive reinforcement and picture yourself as the shark, gliding through the day ahead.

2-4PM
Bellagio Poker Room
Now that you're fed, head over to the Bellagio and grab a chair for a couple of hours at one of Vegas' best poker rooms. They have poker action for almost every budget and it's a pretty mellow way to spend a couple of hours.

If your bankroll is big enough, head to Bellagio's high-roller salon, Club Prive (pictured) and enjoy some responsible gaming and pampering with the elite crowd.

4-7PMish
Caesars Palace
Crossing Flamingo , head to Caesars Palace. You'll want to hit the Forum Shops and grab some fancy duds for going out later. While there, stop by Casa Fuente for a cigar break and a mojito. Follow that up with a massage and shower (very important) at Qua spa. You're now relaxed, clean dressed and ready for the night.

7:30-9PM
Mirage
Head a little north of The Strip and catch 'The Beatles Love' by Cirque du Soleil. Maybe you've just watched 'Across the Universe' in theaters or maybe you're just a Beatles or Cirque du Soleil fan. Whatever the case, it's a must-not-miss show whether you are spending one night or one week in Vegas.

As a post-show option, stop by and check out the tech-heavy psychdelic-inspired The Beatles Revolution Ultra Lounge on your way out. The '60s meet the future with fancy lights and interactive, customer-created art being projected onto the walls.

9:30-11PM
Wynn
Time to eat again and luckily Vegas has plenty of options. Heading a little further up The Strip, stop at The Wynn for a fancy dinner at Alex. On the walk over, from The Mirage, be sure to catch the sexy 'Sirens of TI' free show in front of Treasure Island.

11PM-1AM
Downtown Vegas
Take a cab for a detour off The Strip to Downtown and the newly christened Fremont East Entertainment District. Downtown nightlife is booming and you can initiate your own hipster pub crawl by stopping at the Downtown Cocktail Room, Beauty Bar and The Griffin. Warning, these are not big dance clubs, but don't worry, one is up next on the itinerary.

1AM-3AM
The Venetian
Time to start heading back toward the airport and the first stop is a nightcap at TAO Las Vegas. You'll want to try and skip the line at all costs since time is precious, but once inside, you can rub elbows with celebrities and get an aerobic dance workout to get your second wind.

3AM
Vince Neil Ink Tattoo Parlour
Continuing the trek toward the airport, go to O'Shea's and permanently mark the occasion with a tattoo at Vince Neil Ink. As the front man for Motley Crue, he knows a little something about tattoos. If you have been drinking a lot, you'll want to skip the step and hit the slot machines or visit the Peppermill Fireside Lounge. Tattoos and drinking, contrary to movies and television, don't mix.

4AM
Hard Rock Hotel
It's almost time for breakfast and the Hard Rock usually has an attractive crowd, even this early in the morning (or late at night as the case may be). Mr. Lucky's 24/7 is a 24-hour cafe where you can grab something to eat and much-needed coffee before heading to the airport.

6AM
McCarran International Airport
If any of the souvenir shops are open that early, you might want to buy a T-shirt so you have something fresh to wear for the plane ride home. The slots are up and running so if your flight is delayed, you'll have something to occupy your time before you get on the plane and sleep.

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