Let's start with the facts. The on again, off again, on again, off again Van Halen reunion tour is on again and the band has announced it will play two shows in Las Vegas in December.
Tickets for the band's two concerts at MGM Grand Garden Arena (Dec. 28 and Dec. 30) go on sale this Saturday, Oct. 6 at 10AM.
The tour will mark the first time since 1984 that the band has performed with David Lee Roth. However, it is not a return to the classic lineup, as bass player Michael Anthony has been replaced by Eddie Van Halen's son Wolfgang in a case of nepotism gone bad. Which brings us to the opinions, of which I have many.
I'll admit that I got misty eyed when the band first announced it was getting back together with Diamond Dave in 1996. But that was 11 years ago. It was prior to Eddie's bum hip and prior to Dave's hair extensions.
Van Halen rocks hard and is rightfully in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, but make no mistake about it; image played a roll in the band's success. Go ahead and scream that I'm wrong. I'm still right. Do you really think the band would have been such a juggernaut had it featured a guitarist that looked like Golem?
I'm sorry, but as nostalgic of a guy as I can be, I can't see paying $175 to see a bunch of old men trying to recapture their youth, especially when one of them can't even jog with the devil anymore, let alone run with him. Even the lyrics to 'Panama' will probably need to be rewritten.
Yeah, we're runnin' a little luke warm tonight
I can barely see the road without my bifocals on
Ahh, reach down between my legs and unhook my catheter
So, while the rest of the nostalgic suckers head to the arena in hopes of reliving a moment that can never be relived, I'll be going the cheaper and better route. I'll be at home cranking 'Unchained' to 11.
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